You're my little dorito
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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