using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize