dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
