I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
