I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
