I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
