He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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