We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
