I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
