I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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