Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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