so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
