Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I can't turn off my feet"
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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