How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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