I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
