I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
