Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Randomize
