I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
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A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Dick very happy bro
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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