Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
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So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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