I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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