just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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