i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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