if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Your penis caused this!
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