Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
