google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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