oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
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