apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
