Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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