I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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