That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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