I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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