Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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