Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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