think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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