if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I lost the right to judge tonight
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
