AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
