Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
