I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize