I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize