I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
What a dumb baby whore.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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