so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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