If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Randomize
