Rock
Scissors
Fuck
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
