Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
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I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
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I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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