fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
