Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
