Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
