i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
