Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
there's paper in my vomit.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
being pregnant is like rehab
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
