he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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