I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
