the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
