you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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