His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize