you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
