It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
