There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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