Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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