I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
