Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
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I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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