So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
