pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Vodka?
Forever.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
