The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
