idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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