It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Even my vagina gasped.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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