Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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