It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
