How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Farmville is her only friend.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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